52 WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN ONE YEAR

Week 52, Way 52

2010-02-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. - unknown

I've ended this journey with over 2,800 Twitter followers and 12 subscribers to the blog itself. But countless more people have read the blog and been inspired.

I usually share this quote with my students at the end of our communication experience but I also thought it was poignant to share here. It sums up this journey that I have gone on and that you have taken with me.

Becoming a better 'you' starts with your thoughts. If you think it, it plants a seed. And you want to grown tall, majestic trees, not stubby old weeds.

The book 'The Secret' offers up a lot of tools to live a more fulfilled life, but the book can summed up to this quote. If you think that you're going to fail - you will. But if you think success, success will come. And this is not a hokey excuse for living...it is the true. You are your thoughts.

Your assignment for the rest of your life - change your thoughts!

Week 51, Way 51

2010-02-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions. - Albert Einstein

It seems as if the doldrums of today have relegated us moping and moaning. But we must not let our imagination go the way of the world. Without your imagination, you will simply wake up and live each day as every other. But where is the fun in that?

When you use your imagination - you dare to dream. And if you dream it, you can achieve it. When I first started this blog, I imagined myself becoming a more positive and peaceful person. If you knew me in real life, you'd probably think that dream would never come true. But it did. Writing inspiring posts for a whole year has made me more inspired. It has challenged my old thoughts and beliefs and forced me to see things more clearly and succinct. I imagined this blog at Week 52 and that it was made me continue to write every week. I wanted my imaginative thoughts to become real life.

Your assignment this week is to imagine what next year could be like, then put pen to paper and make a plan so that you can turn those thoughts into real life.

Week 50, Way 50

2010-02-05T15:19:00.000-08:00

"Understanding is a two-way street." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I teach interpersonal communication and by the time that I have completed the 'listening' chapter, the class finally gets it. They realize that listening is an active process and they'd been missing the biggest component - understanding.

Understanding is a two way street...don't assume that someone heard you because they just so happened to be in the room while you spoke. Make sure that they heard you and that they spend time contemplating what they just heard. Make sure that you both come to an understanding.

So your assignment this week is to actively listen then confirm understanding with everyone that you meet. You make yourself a better person in the process and a heck of lot less frustrated.

Week 49, Way 49

2010-01-29T08:10:00.000-08:00

There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family, not as many separate ones. ~ Anwar Sadat

Today, I am sitting in a room full of women who are learning to empower themselves politically. And one just thanked us all for being here - she was happy to be in our presence. We thanked her for saying that. We are now a family. We are family dedicated to advancing our issues and concerns in and for our community. And we could not do it without each other.

We've decided to function as one big family, rather than live and learn as separate ones. And its going to take a learning curve to really get it down pat. But its worth every minute.

Your assignment this week - join a family of folks that you are NOT related too. We can do so much more together.

Week 48, Way 48

2010-01-22T21:11:00.000-08:00

Every people should be the originators of their own destiny. – Martin Delany

Sitting in a training session for a local nonprofit brings this quote close to home. I am volunteering for a group that helps empower young ladies to become the leaders of tomorrow - and that makes me proud. I am a strong woman helping to develop other strong women. I am helping them create their own destiny.

I have so much to say in regards to becoming a volunteer with this organization that I could write about it all day. But I won't. Instead, I will say this - I see me in them and I know where I was at age 15. I promise to be to them what might not have been there for me. Why let them make the mistakes that I have made? I can show them the path and help them carve out their own destiny. This is how we as women help create young women's destiny.

Your assignment this week - carve out your own path or help someone with theirs.

Week 47, Way 47

2010-01-15T08:11:00.000-08:00

If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded. – Maya Angelou

wow...this quote was already in my queue for today and it seems as though everything happens for a reason.

Today, millions are mobilizing to help those in need in Haiti and their loved ones who are seeking a glimmer of hope. Compassion and care is exactly what we are showing now and we mustn't stop.

If you have not already done so, please donate to any local or national organization that is currently assisting in Haiti. Also remember that the news sells sensationalism, so no matter what images that you may see on tv, you should still keep the drive and desire to help.

In the next few days we celebrate the memory of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King - a man who spent his whole life making sure that those without a voice fought for one. He would be proud of us as brothers and sisters now and I am sure that he is welcoming the souls of those who have lost their lives in this tragedy.

So your assignment this week is to care for someone other than yourself.

Week 46, Way 46

2010-01-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

If we lose love and self-respect for each other, this is how we finally die. - Maya Angelou

The scary part about Ms. Angelou's statement is that it seems that we have begun to walk down this road. We are using hate to rule our lives and it is influencing the way we walk, talk and set rules and regulations for ourselves.

We don't want to live next door to people we don't like so we move. We don't want to deal with our own inequities so we blame others. We don't want to deal with our own problems so we hide them in vices. We don't love others because we don't love ourselves.

We sure don't want to become a nation that gives up on ourselves. We don't want to become a nation that functions on fear...but we are getting close.

Your assignment this week - learn to love again, you will gain self respect.

Week 45, Way 45

2010-01-01T09:04:00.000-08:00

Don’t feel entitled to anything you didn’t sweat and struggle for. – Mariam Wright Edelman

It is a new year (heck, a new decade) and time for a new you.

This year, you should focus on achieving your goals with hard work and determination. No one is going to give you a handout. You must struggle for the things that you want.

This weeks assignment - make a list of the goals that you wish to accomplish this year and create a bullet point plan that will illustrate how you intend to struggle for each of them. Think of it as resolutions on steriods.

Week 44, Way 44

2009-12-25T21:10:00.000-08:00

No work is insignificant. - Martin Luther King

I wonder why people try to give fancy titles to the work they do.

I was watching tv today and VH1 was showing their One Hit Wonders special. A member of this elite list was asked what he does for a living today. He said "inline skating instructor". Duh, you teach people how to skate. And there is nothing wrong with that.

No work is insignificant. The woman who never received a pair of skates as child may have been longing for the day for someone to teach her how to skate. And this gentleman did. He brought back her youth. Replaced some bad memories with new ones. Allowed her to check one item off of her bucket list. He changed her life in a few minutes.

So when you go out this holiday season - be thankful for the job that you do have and remember that the work that you do is not insignificant. Easy assignment this week huh?

Week 43, Way 43

2009-12-18T21:10:00.000-08:00

Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today. – Malcolm X

One thing that I have always believed in is education. And since we live in America, you can't use the excuse of the lack thereof. Education can take you around the world and can lift you out of your current circumstance. Education is the key to eliminating poverty. Education is the key to a better life.

So if you have some burning desire to attain more education, don't ignore it. If you wish to make sure that others are educated, dive right in and help. If you see a need, fill it. If you are the answer to that need, see that you are doing your part.

Your assignment this to prepare with education - if not for yourself, do it for someone else.

Week 42, Way 42

2009-12-12T20:48:00.000-08:00

Words mean nothing, Action is the only thing. Doing. That’s the only thing. – Ernest J. Gaines

Short and sweet this week - your assignment is to DO IT! Don't speak about it, be about it. Talk is cheap.

Week 41, Way 41

2009-12-04T08:40:00.000-08:00

You lose a lot of time hating people. – Marian Anderson

So we know that fear leads to hate yet some people have no problem 'hating'. Some people relish is disdain; spending all of their free time stewing in their own juices.

I couldn't imagine spending any portion of my day so upset that I turn to hate. I don't have the time for it. I am too busy planning for my future - for my daughter's future. I have no time to concern myself with anyone else's.

But what I find interesting is that folks who are put in your life to love you can also hate you. Maybe they hate you because they aren't you. And that costs precious time too. Maybe you are in that position. Maybe you had a falling out with a loved one or friend and its caused a strain in your relationship. Whatever the case may be, now may be the time to apologize. Don't lose time hating when you could be loving each other.

Your assignment this week - apologize. Don't waste one more minute hating someone.

Week 40, Way 40

2009-12-04T08:27:00.000-08:00

Fear of something is at the root of hate for others, and hate within will eventually destroy the hater. – George Washington Carver

So telling and true for today's time.

We are fearful of each other. We are fearful of change. We are fearful of homosexuals desiring rights. We are fearful of immigrants wishing to start a life. We are fearful of those wishing to decrease the health disparity gap. We are fearful of anything that we don't know.

And this fear will debilitate us. It will eat us up from the inside and make us angry, mad and vengeful.

The only way to combat fear is to learn.

My challenge this week - learn something about that which you are fearful.

Week 39, Way 39

2009-11-20T11:13:00.000-08:00

Pride, like humility, is destroyed by one’s insistence that he possess it. – Kenneth B Clarke

It took me a few weeks to tackle this quote because of the way most people feel about pride. We love to show pride in something, but sometimes, pride can be our own worst enemy.

Pride keeps us from accepting a lower paying job even in a recession. Pride keeps us from apologizing to loved ones. Pride keeps us stuck in the places that we are in today.

So how do we make sure that we don't let pride turn into our enemy. We remember that a good mix of humility added to another ounce of pride makes us human. It also makes us bearable - to ourselves and to others.

Your assignment this week - Be of pride but not prideful.

Week 38, Way 38

2009-11-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

I was raised to believe that excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism. And that’s how I operate my life. – Oprah Winfrey

And Ms. Winfrey is correct. It doesn't matter what you look like when you open your mouth. As long as what you are saying is accurate and with passion. I used to think that people were always 'watching' me, 'judging' me even. I thought they looked at my face and said 'who does she think she is?', 'she's too young' or 'she's black'. But that wasn't the case. My quest for excellence has led me to become a college professor and that excellence has silenced all of my critics.

Your assignment this week - BE EXCELLENT!

This post in to honor Oprah Winfrey who will announce today that she is leaving her acclaimed talk show of 25 years.

Week 37, Way 37

2009-11-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

One who damages the character of another damages his own. - Yoruba of Nigeria

Have you ever engaged in gossip about someone? Repeated something that you may have heard?

If so, you are guilty of damaging your own character. Believe it or not, not everyone indulges in gossip. But when you do, you are labeled a 'gossipmonger'. I wouldn't want that titled associated with my good name. And you shouldn't either.

Think of it like this...if you were the topic of discussion, you would want that discussion to be factual. So why then would you engage in spreading information that you do not know is factual against someone else? What does this say about your character? Not much.

So let's do something to change this stigma. Believe you me, there is enough going on in the world for you to talk about something other than 'so and so' and what they are doing.

Your assignment this week - shut your mouth!

Week 36, Way 36

2009-10-31T11:03:00.000-07:00

You don’t have to teach people how to be human. You have to teach them how to stop being inhuman. - Eldridge Cleaver

The latest vitriol in the US reminds me of this quote. We have become so accustomed to shouting to get our point across that we have lost our humanity.

We can't forget what makes us special...why God made us human. We have the ability to feel, to empathize, to sympathize. We are human because we are bold, brave and strong. But most of all, we are human because we know how to care for each other.

Let's take this opportunity that we have (the current economic crisis) and use it as a time to reconnect with our human side. Share dinner with that neighbor who you know has fallen on hard times. Pass on a coupon that you aren't using with the person in line behind you. Apologize that person with whom you had the big blowout with. Trust me, anything we can do to bring the gap of humanity, the better.

So your assignment this week - be more humane. Period.

Week 35, Way 35

2009-10-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

Truth knows no color; it appeals to intelligence. – James Cone

America is often the place where we put folks in boxes, give them labels (see Week 34) and segregate even by choice. We cry foul when we don't get a job. We say 'it's because I am black' or 'Latino', hell, we even say it's because 'I'm white'. But we are doing ourselves an injustice when we do this. The truth is not masked by color, it is not masked at all. The truth is rooted in logic and appeals to all who are intelligent.

So the next nest time things don't go the way that we want them too, let us not blame the color of our skin. Look inside to find the truth and know that if another sees it, they are intelligent. If they don't, they have some learning and truth seeking to do for themselves.

Your assignment this week - no more excuses, if you are being truthful with yourself and others, it will be revealed by the intelligent mind.

Week 34, Way 34

2009-10-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

Don't let people put labels on you - and don't put them on yourself. Sometimes a label can kill you. – Malcolm X

The word 'kill' may seem a bit harsh and I am sure that Malcolm was being a bit much is his usage, however, it is true. Labels can stick - they can be like a seed that we plant and sow and once it takes root you could be in for trouble.

So why let others place labels on you?

I don't want anyone else determining my destiny for me, especially if they are not working in my best interest. Only I can work in my best interest.

So begin today as the day that you create your own label, figure out who you want to be. Work towards those goals and make it happen. So the next time someone calls you something other than your name, it will be because you created the label they chose to use.

Your assignment this week - leave all labels you didn't create behind and start today as it if were new and golden.

Week 33, Way 33

2009-10-09T12:35:00.000-07:00

The mind does not take its complexion from the skin. – Frederick Douglass

What a perfect day to post this message.

As I sit in my room watching Oprah's Friday Live episode I am watching in amazement as a woman in the audience berates Chris Rock for exposing 'black women's hair secrets' and he told her something that rang true for me...'secrets rot the soul; and boy is he correct.

The woman in the audience thought that these secrets would cause folks to judge her even more; specifically those whom she works with. But I would suspect that those whom she works with are more concerned with her mind. And her mind does not take its complexion from his skin color.

So I hope that the woman in the audience reads this blog post and know that it is about her and rooted in love. I want to tell her that she is who she is from her mind, not her hair or her complexion that makes her hair 'her hair' (confusing I know).

This week, I want you to be of your mind, not of your skin color - let those other folks judge you, don't waste time judging yourself.

Week 32, Way 32

2009-09-28T08:19:00.000-07:00

Remember, to hate...is demeaning. It means you're afraid of the other side of the coin -- to love and be loved. – James Baldwin

The funniest thing happened to me the other day in the car. I was on a major freeway here in Charlotte and I needed to merge quickly, or risk missing my entrance onto another freeway. But I had company. A guy in a pick up driving over the speed limit but about 2 car lengths behind. So I checked my mirrors, turned on my blinker and merged. Did that make that guy mad. So mad that he was filled with rage and hate, all at the simple act of driving in the city.

He sped up about 10 mpg more and began honking his horn feverishly - apparently wanting me to look over and acknowledge his behavior. Funny though, because he saw it as a chance to chastise me and what he deemed my lack of inability to 'respect the road' and his time in that lane. But what made the moment all the more memorable was that he had no intention of being in that lane, the turn only lane, and he was driving over 30 miles over the speed limit to begin with. But he felt the need to display his disdain for me and my driving.

Was anyone wrong in this situation? Well, if you've even driven on 277, then you'd see it was he who was in the wrong. But did I affirm this by getting angry or full of hate myself? No. What is the purpose?

I told that story to say this - for some folks, it is simply easier to hate than to be happy or loving or cordial (or a safe driver). And for some folks, letting hate into your daily life is natural and it would almost seem incomplete without it.

Just imagine what the driver of that car thought about the remainder of the day? How mad he was at me and how much he wish he could 'tell me about myself'...all of his thoughts were rooted in hate. Why do you think they call it 'road rage'.

But what did I think about? Praying for him. I hadn't even recounted the story until now for this post but I knew that if I let anger into my heart - it would be a seed that would plant hate. And I have no time for hate.

Hate makes you sick. It makes your face hurt and your back tense up. But most of all, it eats you up inside and tells everyone around you to STAY AWAY. Most of all it tells them that you have a caution sign on your back - that for some reason you are scared to love and be loved because you have no ability to do it yourself.

You assignment this week - that the hate out of your heart. It will change things dramatically in your personal relationships and even make your drive home seem pleasant.

Week 31, Way 31 (21 more weeks to go)

2009-09-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

It isn’t where you came from, its where you’re going that counts. – Ella Fitzgerald

Coming from a lower middle class single parent home hasn’t been my crutch in life. Instead, it allowed me to blossom and become the woman that I am today.

You can’t let your past dictate your future to the point that you will never attempt to succeed. Your future lies within you. Where are you going?

Simple assignment this week - don't let your past dictate your future. Only YOU know where you've come from, now its time for you to decide where you want to go.

Week 30, Way 30

2009-09-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. Langston Hughes

Everyday, thousands of people come to America in search of a dream.

Everyday, millions of Americans go to school in the hope that they can accomplish that dream they've had all of their lives.

And everyday, millions more go to work to live out their dreams.

But for all of the millions that are following their dreams...their are millions have been rudely awakened.

Dreaming seemed to be the best part of day when we were younger. But now that we are older...we claim to be wiser...and older people have no time for dreams - we've got bills to pay. But if you think about how you feel when you are paying those bills, you probably wish that you were on some deserted island dreaming about being a circus performer or ballet dancer or action hero.

Is that wise?

Not at all. We tell our children to reach for the stars, to dream big. But then we can barely plan for the weekend.

We need to go back to our youth - back to when we loved dreaming and fall in love with it all over again. We can still dream about today and the possibilities of tomorrow. And while we all might not be able to quit our jobs - we can take that gourmet cooking class or learn Mandarin to plan for that trip to China that we've always dreamed about.

Your assignment this week - dream! And then make it come true.

Week 29, Way 29

2009-09-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

(I know...I am two weeks behind - sue me :-)

You can’t look forward and backward at the same time. – Coleman Young

Now being from the great city of Detroit...I had to put Coleman Young in here. Now I don't agree with most of what he stood for but I do agree with the statement.

As humans, we tend to hold grudges. This prevents us from moving forward. And not being able to more forward keeps us stagnant. Stagnancy breeds complacency and complacency breeds contempt. Wow, who knew we could break it down so simple of how you go from being a little angry to a whole lot of contempt.

We have to learn to how to let go so that we can move forward. Sure stuff has happened in the past to upset us...hell, it may have even pissed us off. But if we dwell in the failures of the past, we will never see the beauty of progress that the future holds.

And I know how you feel...you don't ever want to forget when you've been wronged. That is understandable. But you can't let that desire to never forget take hold of you creating new memories.

In my Intro to Interpersonal Communication class that I teach, I talk to the students about how we can let our attitudes and beliefs influence our communication and most seem to get it as far as theories are concerned...but after class is complete, they see how they can take those theories and apply them to their real lives. And they begin to see that their attitudes are greatly affecting the things that are said to them, how they respond and the final outcome. They now believe that they are more in control than they previously thought. And they see that their ability to leave things behind affects their positive growth in the future.

So your assignment this week is to let it go! Period. That simple. Let it go. That old grudge, that bad argument, that borrowed money. Let it go. Move forward and you will reap rewards.

Week 28, Way 28

2009-08-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

An intelligent enemy is better than a stupid friend. – Senegal

Many of us have that one friend whom we often look at with puzzling eyes. They could even be members of your family. They may not have it all there and are missing a few brain cells. So why then do you still associate with them? No matter the case…I’d rather have an intelligent enemy than a stupid friend.

An intelligent enemy gives you a chance at improving your mental capacity. They keep you on your toes. A stupid friend, however, makes you dumb down your conversation and attempts to bring you to their level just to be their friend.

I refuse to host stupid friends but I welcome the challenge of an intelligent enemy any day.

Your assignment this week - leave a 'stupid' friend behind and make an intelligent enemy (or at least find out who they are so you can engage in mental battle with them). Good luck, you'll need it.

Week 27, Way 27

2009-08-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

No one is without knowledge except him who asks no questions. - Central Africa (Fulfulde)

When you were younger and in school, you raised your hand to ask questions. After your question was answered you gained small a nugget of information, one I hope you haven’t forgotten to this day.

So when we stop asking questions? When did we get so big for our britches that we stopped being inquisitive and stopped our search for understanding?

I guess we might feel foolish to have anyone think that we don't know something but we are foolish for not asking questions.

You can never gain true knowledge until you are willing to admit that you don’t know everything and that you need guidance in your life. It doesn’t hurt to receive those answers. It makes you smarter, stronger and better equipped to deal. Who goes into a battle with no armor?

Your assignment this week - ask a question! Just one...even if you think that you have a good undserstanding of the topic. It will never hurt to really find out what's going on, not just what someone tells you.

Week 26, Way 26

2009-08-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

When a man angers you, he conquers you. -Toni Morrison

This quote means more to me than all the others on this blog. I have a bad habit of letting people steal my joy. God does not want you to allow someone else to have dominion over them. So when a man angers you, he has dominion over you.

With dominion comes control. Letting someone control you is one of the worst feelings to experience because there is a sense of helplessness…as if all of your daily moves are contingent on your disposition. Allowing someone to alter your disposition is maddening, stressful and harmful to your body and spirit.

You assignment this week is to not let any man conquer you. I know this sounds harder to say than do - but you must. Simply say 'not me, not today'.

Week 25, Way 25

2009-07-29T05:15:00.000-07:00

We must reinforce argument with results. – Booker T. Washington

Talk is cheap. Period.

Booker T. Washington says this more eloquently than I but the underlying point is that ‘talk is cheap’. You show your true character with your actions.

When one reinforces their point of view with results they are backing up their talk. This is the way to get your voice heard in America. What sense does it make to demonstrate and picket if you don’t know what brought you out in the first place?

So when you speak to anyone, reinforce the conversation with some real, tested results.

Your assignment this week is to become more informed about something that you are passionate about. How else will you be able to speak about it if you fail to understand the ramifications of your words?

Week 24, Way 24

2009-07-20T12:13:00.000-07:00

You’re either part of the solution or part of the problem. – Eldridge Cleaver

You may not be a teenager who stands on the corner cursing, being disrespectful all while skipping school. But if you don’t say something about it, you are no better than they are.

Problems that plague our community that must be addressed or else. If we don’t stand-up and do something, how can we ever expect them to go away? I often engage with students daily who complain about the cost to park or the lack of assistance in obtaining an education, but very few of them are doing anything to address the problem. I challenge them daily and I want to challenge you.

Don’t spend your life complaining about the way things are. Spend your life working to make sure that they change. So instead of walking past that teenager and ignoring his poor behavior, say something, speak up!

Your assignment this week - be a part of the solution.

Week 23, Way 23

2009-07-11T12:58:00.000-07:00

A man who won’t die for something isn’t fit to live. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

What will you die for? Your family? Your children? Your spouse? How about a cause? If you were raised during the Civil Rights movement you may have been willing to die for the right to live free. But what if you grew up in Generation X? Are you willing to die for your IPod? Of course not! But what are you willing to die for?

There are many fights that need foot soldiers. Are you willing to join one so that millions of Americans who are dying from AIDS receive a cure? Are you willing to die so that your brothers and sisters in Africa don’t have to suffer from famine, disease and civil war?

Maybe the thought of death is to morbid for you so I will challenge you with this - what in your life do you wish we could live without? That, my friend, is what you could die for.

Your assignment this week - Find a cause and fight.

Week 22, Way 22

2009-07-03T13:28:00.000-07:00

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. – Bill Cosby

It is in our nature to try to please people. We always want people to know the type of person we are and how giving and thoughtful we can be. And that is just fine. But when you live your life trying to please everyone else but yourself, you will ultimately end up miserable.

Life teaches us a lot of things but most importantly it teaches us to be true to thine ownself. No matter who you are, you are somebody and the minute you realize that, you’ve freed yourself up to become the ‘you’ that you know you can be.

Although Bill Cosby says that he can’t give you the keys to success, he can probably agree that he became successful by being true to himself.

This week, I want you to work pleasing yourself first. Take time out to read that book that you want instead of responding to that email that won't enrich you. You will win in the long run, gaining clarity and respect.

Week 21, Way 21

2009-07-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

“You can’t win unless you learn how to use” – Kareem Abdul Jabbar

The phrase ‘sore looer’ comes to mind when I read this quote. Sore losers haven’t grasped the concept of winning. Sure, they want to win but they haven’t taken the time to understand how to win.

One has to study the playbook, follow some clear-cut rules and apply what they’ve learned to win, but you’d never subscribe to this game plan if you believe you should’ve won in the first place.

You have to believe that you should plan your victories; that they won’t just come to you. You should also look to losses as learning experiences; ones that will ultimately help you become a better person.

So this week, I want to think of a past loss and figure out how you can learn from it - ultimately becoming a winner in the process.

Week 20, Way 20

2009-06-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

There’s time enough, but none to spare – Charles W. Chestnutt

I am sure that you have heard the saying ‘time is money’. That is because a lot of people equate their time to money that they could be making, herego, if you waste their time, you are costing them money.

Although you may not equate your time to money, you can give it meaning. Think back to the hours that you may have wasted doing something that may not have been fruitful. You can’t get those hours back no matter how much you wish to. You have to treat your time as if it is precious; like you have none to spare. And your time is precious but most of, it is valuable. If you treat every hour of your day as a learning or sharing opportunity, you will begin to see the rewards of life.

Your assignment this week - figure out how much time you might be 'wasting'. Whether it is from watching tv or spending way too much time on the internet - there is some wasted time that you can get back.

Once you've figure out your wasted time - use it that new found time to improve your life. But just in case you can't get off the 'net, visit sites that you can learn something from.

Week 19, Way 19

2009-06-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

When you educate a man you educate an individual, but when you educate a woman, you educate a nation. – Johnetta B. Cole

I think of this quote often when I walk into my classroom. If my students only knew the magnitude of this statement. Now no disrespect to my male educators, because we know that you are indeed a special breed. But to educate a woman is to educate her children, brothers and sisters. To educate a woman is powerful.

Why else do you think that there is so much hubbub about the Supreme Court and the potential of another woman's face to grace the platform? Ms. Sotomayor is a woman and her presence on the Court can change this nation. Some who oppose her being seated are scared at the possible changes that could arise. But I am not...for I know that we are all about to be educated.

Your assignment this week -

1. if you are a woman - share something that you know with another young woman and watch her share that information with all that she knows. But make sure that information will be beneficial to her life and others.

2. if you are man - same thing. You will teach her two things in the process, you'll add to her self esteem and provide her valuable knowledge.

Go forth and educate!

Week 18, Way 18

2009-06-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

Knowledge is the prime need of the hour. – Mary Macleod Bethune

I often think of this when I am teaching. I have some students who could care less...are there just because their mom dropped them off or threatened to kick them out if they didn't go to college. But I do have some students who thrive in the classroom setting. That is because everyday they are getting smarter.

Those rare few know that by amassing knowledge, they are placing themselves on a path that they create, not walking on one that is created for them.

I teach Intro to Communication and one of the tenets of communicaiton is that it is competency based - how much you know about any subject directly relates to your ability to communicate effectively about it. So why go to a gun fight with a knife?

You must commit yourself to be a lifelong student - whether in a physical institution or by simply reading the paper online. You have to commit to being knowledgeable. Otherwise, you do yourself an injustice and others when you repeat errant information.

So your assignment this week is to learn something new, preferably about something you wanted to learn more about anyway. The neat think about this assignment is if you spend just one hour a week for 5 years on that subject - you ultimately become the expert on it.

Knowledge - wow!

Week 17, Way 17

2009-05-29T07:23:00.000-07:00

"I don’t know what the future may hold, but I know who holds the future" – Ralph Abernathy

Ooh...what does my future hold...perhaps more of the same? It took 10 days for me to write this post - why? Because I am over-scheduled! But I did make a commitment to myself this week...I have to let something go. I gained this clarity after committing myself to one more thing that took up way to much time.

So do I know what the future holds - not a clue...I have no control over anyone asking me to participate in anything or join them in their quest to change the world. But I do have the option to accept or not too - I have the option to control my life no matter how out of control it may seem.

Today seems out of control for most all of us. Recession, depression, loss of a job or home can make life seem scary...you feel like you don't know what is coming next. But if you follow Mr. Abernathy's words, you know that you are in charge, that you control your future. So believe it...I know it may be hard, but believe it.

This week - think about what one thing you may have let go because you felt that you didn't control its outcome...think about it and reclaim it. You control your future - not anyone or anything else.

Week 16, Way 16

2009-05-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

When I discover who I am, I’ll be free. – Ralph Ellison

Freedom is itself is power. To discover freedom is akin to someone turning on a light switch to illuminate a darkened room.

Immigrants came to America because they believed that this place empowers them to become a better person, achieve their dreams and to make a better life for their children. They believe that they can discover the power that lies within by achieving affinity to something greater than themselves.

It is time to take this philosophy and apply it our own guest for freedom. Discovering who we really are, what makes us tick, what pushes our buttons gives us dominion; its gives us power. Discover yourself.

This week - I want you to discover your own brand of freedom - for me, it will to begin studying for the GRE. How can going back to school set me free? It will allow me to continue to open my mind to knowledge.

Week 15, Way 15 (traveled last week - excuse me)

2009-05-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

A violinist had a violin, a painter his palette. All I had was myself. I was the instrument that I must care for. - Josephine Baker

In our quest to live better lives, we sometimes forget to take care of ourselves. Yes, we might read a self help book or two, start exercising occasionally and maybe even go on a diet.

But we still do ourselves an injustice by not taking total care of ourselves.

The current climate has shown us many things about how unstable life can be, but if you have managed to miss it real message - you could end up in worse shape. We must begin to focus inward on the things that are vital and important to us. You don't need to work yourself ragged to afford the biggest house, you just need one that hold those and the things you love most.

You don't have to begin exercising to rum a marathon, but you can start with some simple yoga poses to help get in physical and mental shape.

Above all, you must begin to seek time to think about your life, where you want to ne and how you can get there - peacefully. You have the ability to change your life and world but you don't have to go overboard in the process.

Love life and yourself.

This week, I want you to stop one thing that you currently do that makes you tired or drives you mad....just stop it! and start taking care of you.

Week 14, Way 14

2009-05-08T07:15:00.000-07:00

Our only hope is to control the vote – Medgar Evers

Are you a registered voter?

Silly question huh? But did you know that in Australia, you are required to vote. If you don't you pay a fine. Why on God's green earth do you think they enacted that law? Probably because they understand the power of voting. They know full well that voting brings order and change. They also know that those who vote have the right to complain.

So how can you 'control the vote'? You begin by being informed and empowered. Knowing the issues and candidates can only make us a stronger government. And while we pretend to be a democracy - we are more like a democratic republic. We vote in people to speak on behalf of our issues. So the next time you complain about your local elected officials, remember that you control the vote. You voted them in and you can vote them out.

Your assignment this week is to focus on one issue in your community that you are passionate about and find out where your elected officials stand on that issue. It just might surprise you. You decide what you will choose to do about it.

Otherwise, you might end up like Detroit voters - they elected a former Motown star to city council and they are surprised at her lack of professionalism and skill.

Week 13, Way 13

2009-05-08T07:03:00.000-07:00

The only protection against injustice in man is power - physical, financial, and scientific – Marcus Garvey

Power. Strong word with only 5 letters.

But it controls everything. And power can be inherited or it can be obtained. This is what most seem to forget.

There is a power shift in America lately. People are beginning to see that they can change things in their community by themselves. By empowering yourself mentally through amassing additional education; physically by becoming strong and healthy - ready to endure battles; financially by running their own community banks (see commongoodbnak.com) and scientifically by going green for the environment.

You can change your circumstances if you are ready to be powerful.

I ask that this week - you commit to obtaining power in your life and community.

If you decide to go back to school, start your own community bank or commit to living green - please do something and come back and share with us what you did and what impact it had on your life.

Week 12, Way 12

2009-04-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

Do more, talk less. – Jamaica

Should I even write a passage referencing this quote? Of course. The example of doing more is illustrated throughout this blog. As a matter of fact, it is this blog. I could have easily talked about writing this blog. But talk is cheap. Instead, I did something to inspire myself and others. But the fact remains. I did something.

What will you DO today?

I'll leave this one up to you. Its your call.

But do something...leave the talking to those who don't really want to change.

(image courtesy of dosomething.org)

Week 11, Way 11

2009-04-10T08:14:00.003-07:00

What happens to a dream deferred? It shrivels up and dies. – Langston Hughes

I've met many people in my life that have talked to me about all the things they 'want to do' in life. Some have done them but most have not. I often ask myself why? Why is that some seem to follow through on their dreams and others seem to leave them by the way side? What is it about dreams that seem so idealistic yet so unachievable? Are we teaching are kids how to dream at all?

I am an avid tv watcher and web-head and I know that you all have seen the video of Susan Boyle and her living out her dream on British TV in front of a jaded audience that included Simon Cowell. She sung her heart out when I am sure that many told her 'you'll never be a singer'. She didn't give up on her dream.

So the question that I want to ask you is this - have you given up on your dream? have you let your dream die?

I hope not.

But in all honestly, you just might have. So what can you do to get that dream back or create a new one that you can achieve?

Well, you start by believing that you are worthy of having dream.

And then you begin the process of setting the plans into motion to accomplish that dream.

Your assignment this week - pretend you are in the 3rd grade and you have some scissors, glue and magazines. Find a piece of poster board and make a collage. Make your collage reflective of your dreams...put pictures of homes, cars, vacation spots...write words of encouragement too. Put anything on there that you believe will help ground you in your desire to achieve that dream.

I have one - and its in my master bedroom. It clashes with the decor but not with my life.

Week 10, Way 10

2009-04-10T08:14:00.001-07:00

The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. - Benjamin E. Mays

A few weeks ago in class, I asked my students if they had goals set for the next year, 3 years and 5 years. Some raised their hands while most did not. This surprised the heck outta me because I thought to myself "why are you in college if you don't have a goal to obtain after you graduate?".

But I shouldn't be surprised by their response because I grew up around people who lived simply for today. They had no real goals for tomorrow and seemed to be content with the current status of their lifestyle. And perhaps this is because no one eve thought them how to 'goal set'.

Most people think that their dreams automatically qualify itself as a goal and this couldn't be further from the truth. I believe that most folks need to be re-educated as to what dreams are and what goals are. So I decided to start with my classes.

I had the opportunity to give them a sample speech to prepare them for their upcoming research speeches and I shared with them the SMART goal setting method. Some looked even more confused but I think some got it. And I want to share it here with you.

This week, your assignment is to study the SMART goal planning method and pick one goal and thoroughly plan it out using the system. Here you go!
----------------
Guidelines for establishing SMART goals

• Establishing goals creates a written plan for reasonable and measurable long-term and short-term objectives.

• Goals should support growth and achievement. By following the SMART model for establishing goals, it allows the person to track their success.

• SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely.

Specific: goals should be as specific and detailed as possible. Do not set loose or broad goals.

Measurable: In order to clearly determine if objectives have been achieved, goals should not be ambiguous, but rather clear and concrete.

Achievable: Success and failures depend on practical goals. Goals should not be out of reach. They should be reasonable and achievable.

Realistic: Goals must be possible under current conditions.

Timely: Goals should have a time frame for completion. Having a time frame will give structure and allow you to monitor progress.

Week 9 - Way 9

2009-03-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there. - Will Smith

Scary thought huh?

Did you ever wonder why some folks who win the lottery and can't keep their earnings? Well, this quote from Will Smith says it all. If you can budget $200, you can budget $2 million.

So now that you've prepared yourself in the first few weeks to understand money and how it works for you, you must also begin to work on the tenets that you will take with you once you are successful.

You should begin by building a strong foundation of gratitude while you are working on achieving those financial goals. This will ultimately help you keep the attitude of gratitude when things begin to turn around.

So your assignment this week is to start a gratitude journal. You don't have to write a thesis every night but if you can find 5 things each day that you are thankful for, you will find that your attitude will change for the better.

Week 8 - Way 8

2009-03-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

Money is not the only answer, but it makes a difference. - Barack Obama

How appropriate a time for this quote and from this person...POTUS.

Right now we can really see the value of a dollar. And while money is not the only answer - it certainly makes a difference. Don't believe me - ask the folks from AIG who walked away with bonuses paid for by tax payers. I personally think they are trying to hoard this cash for fear that there will be none left when it all clears.

But what about you? How are you supposed to cope now that you are clipping coupons and buying in bulk? Well, you just do. You do what many folks have been doing for years.

You learn to make money, no let it make you.

So while money isn't the whole answer, it certainly helps to have it to count on when times are rough. So the next time we experience a downtown in the economy, you will have learned the hard way to prepare now. Save those pennies - they will add up to dollars.

My assignment for you this week is to take all of those principals that we've learned in the last week weeks and put them to good use. By now, you should know your FICO score, learned how to budget, and making sure that you are earning the best APR on your money. Now I want you to really understand what money means and how it can answer the questions to all of your problems - not just for today and for tomorrow.

Money isn't the only answer. Our values help to make us who we are. Keeping those values close to our hearts and minds help to guide our decisions for the future.

Week 7 - Way 7

2009-03-05T07:03:00.000-08:00

I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes. - Oprah Winfrey

Jimmy Choo’s to be exact. Oprah is truly and example for us all. Grounded and compassionate yet fully aware of who she is and how that relates to society.

It is time for us to realize this too. No matter how hard we work to achieve better things in life we need to remember to help those around us too.

If you haven't made it a habit to become involved in your community, the time is now. I am sure that the current recession has revealed to you the needs in your own home - so just think that these needs are also being felt in your community.

So your lesson for this week is to volunteer, to become a social activist. Whether you begin the small step of donating critical needs items to a shelter or the Goodwill or whether you help build a Habitat Home in your city - you have the power to give back.

Service keeps us grounded while perseverance keeps us striving for more. Besides, the more we have the more we have to share.

Week 6 - Way 6

2009-02-27T09:11:00.000-08:00

“Girl, get your money straight” - Glinda Bridgeforth

This post is specifically for the ladies...guys, if you have a lady in your life that you care about, share this with her.

Statistics show that out of the 150 million women in America, 55 million of us will are not married. http://www.womenspeak.com/age_stats.php

Some studies find that 46% of African American women will never marry in their lifetime. Gone are the days of marrying for security. It’s time to secure your own future. Don’t wait on a man to buy you a home or show you how to invest for your future. Do it yourself.

What better way to become a contributing member to society than to have financial independence? Just think, if we were financially independent right now, the current recession wouldn't hurt us. We'd be taking advantage of the lower prices on homes and goods and the decline in the stock market would be music to our ears because we'd be investing for tomorrow.

It's time to open up the Wall Street Journal & begin to research the stock market. It's time to understand what your FICO score (myfico.com) is and its time to research ways to accumulate and build wealth.

Look at it this way, you could always purchase a two family flat and rent it out to that cute mechanic. That’ll lower that marriage statistic and improve your net worth.

So my assignment for you this week is to visit suzeorman.com and purchase 'Women & Money'...this will serve as your blueprint to begin the journey on becoming financially independent!

Week 5 - Way 5

2009-02-20T07:14:00.000-08:00

The art is not in making money, but in keeping it – Proverb

So we all know that we are in a recession...Recent studies have shown that Americans can’t save what they earn. We go through all of the rigor moro of waking up early, fighting rush hour traffic, demanding bosses and unreasonable deadlines just to dig themselves into more and more debt. Why? Why cant we learn to pay ourselves first and save money?

You’ll never be able to retire if you have to work just to pay your bills. And we've seen how living beyond our means can not only devastate your own personal finances, but an entire economy. We must use this time to reevaluate and rethink how money functions in our lives.

Americans, particularly women and African Americans, it is critical that we build our futures economically. The struggles of the civil and womens rights movement have afforded us the opportunity to begin an economic rights movement. Let’s keep the money we earn and use it to build our futures.

So your homework assignment this week is to open a savings account...but you say that you have one already? that is okay too, you might not have the best one. Most banks are offering such low APRs on savings accounts that it is a great idea to shop around for the best offer.

Use bankrate.com to help find a high yield savings account for yourself this week.

Week 4 - Way 4

2009-02-03T08:31:00.000-08:00

You get quick money, it's beautiful, there's sunshine, but at the end of the day…It's not what it seems. - Wyclef Jean

“Easy money” is an oxymoron. You may have gotten it fast but it won’t be held easily. The outcomes of success should never include anything illegal or immoral.

So let's resign ourselves to create wealth this year instead of seeking get-rich-quick schemes.

But how do you go about creating real wealth?

Well first things first, you need a budget. How do you know what you can afford if you haven't addressed those things that you need? So let's start at the beginning. Your assignment this week is to create a budget...don't know how? here are some links to help you.

http://financialplan.about.com/od/budgetingyourmoney/ht/createbudget.htm

http://www.google.com/google-d-s/templates_finance.html

We'll come back later in the year to help you take the next steps in creating wealth.

Easy money is never easy.

Week 3 - Way 3

2009-01-27T06:47:00.001-08:00

Train your head and hands to do, your head and heart to dare. – Joseph Seamon Cotter, Jr

Wow...how profound. You can certainly amass education that will teach you a thing or two but it is your heart that will take you places.

When I was growing up, I wanted to be the commissioner of the NBA. I studied Sport/Entertainment/Events Management in college and was on my way. But something happened while I was there. I began to love service. It started when I was an RA. I was charged with helping other students navigate their way through college life. Then it ventured into the community when I set up a mentoring program at the local boys and girls club.

By the time I graduated, I had long forgotten my dream of the NBA and began to set my sights on helping my community.

Today, I teach about 75 college students per term. I help shape their communication styles and even sprinkle in some inspiration. During my off days, you will find me volunteering (online and off), doing some e-activism and completing a leadership program that will place will me on a community organization board in the spring.

You see, I trained my head and hands to do, but I used my heart to dare.

So here is what I want you to do this week - take another piece of paper, draw a line down the middle and write down the things that you have been trained to do. Then on the other side, write down how that training can influence those dreams or desires of your heart. You don't have to go my route of service. Maybe you were trained in history - your desire might be to travel to world exploring history in real life.

Whatever it is - dare to dream!

Week 2 - Way 2

2009-01-27T06:43:00.000-08:00

Poor people are allowed the same dreams as everyone else. – Kimi Gray

While I've never totally subscribed to the theory of your environment dictating your lot in life, I can certainly see how others have.

I know quite a few people who live and Detroit and maintain an attitude of 'Detroit' that is based on statistics. Sure the school system is in a shambles and the government officials are crooked, but there is good in the hearts of Detroiters.

I've been lucky enough to meet so many people in my time spent there that I can't even recall all of them. But it is the people that I haven't met personally that I am most touched by.

I used to frequent a local shelter to drop off clothing and shoes about every other month. In my visits, I could see the shame in some of the residents eyes. They were ashamed of their situation or how they even got to the place of needing assistance to live. I would often try to go out of my way to give them a smile or just some reassurance that they were still human. That they still had dreams.

What I am most concerned about in America today, is that we don't leave these folks behind because of their environment. Just because their life hasn't turned the way they'd hope it would, doesn't mean that they don't deserve to dream for a better future.

But how can they achieve this if we turn our backs to them?

Your lesson this week is to smile at someone that you may have walked past before. That comforting glance could be the reassurance that they need to keep on keeping on. And when they struggle to find a place to sleep later that night, perhaps your smile can help them dream peacefully.

Week 1 - Way 1

2009-01-17T15:02:00.000-08:00

Anytime you see someone more successful than you are, they are doing something you aren't. – Malcolm X

This statement holds true in just about all circumstances. Hard work can easily be attributed to success. So if you see someone more successful than you - its probably because they’ve worked harder than you to get where they are.

The good thing about their success is that you are privy to their game plan. Don’t reinvent the wheel, use their past experiences to assist you in creating your own. So understand that the things you aren’t doing now are preventing you from being the successful person that you wish to be.

So first things first...I would like for you to write down your success goals - those things that you wish to accomplish. As you begin to write those goals down, split the paper in half. On one side, your goals. On the other side, write the name of a person whom you know (or don't but would like to) who have accomplished that goal. This will help you develop your road map to success.

The idea here is that if you want something bad enough, you will do whatever you can (legally) to obtain that goal. And why not start by asking someone who has accomplished it?

For example, if your goal is to go to grad school - find someone who you know that has graduated and been successful. Ask them what they did to obtain funding, what tools they used to prep for the entrance exam and how they managed to juggle their priorities in the process.

Others have lived life so that yours will be an easier path to follow. Take advantage of it. But remember, you can't complain about what you don't have unless you are willing to get what they do.

Why I decided to embark on this adventure

2009-01-17T14:49:00.000-08:00

Thanks for joining me as I embark upon a year of inspiration. I hope that you will find it a useful tool and a measuring stick as you begin to take the next steps in life for accomplishment and fulfillment.

We’ve all heard sayings that we remember and use on a daily basis but most of which we cannot relate to anything that will help us progress as a people.

I’ve always had an affinity to quotes that were easy to remember yet powerful in message. And I believe that you will also. You’ve already shown your uncanny ability to remember verses and slang at a moments notice. Now I will do some of the work for you by providing 52 inspirational quotes in one year that I hope you will remember and utilize on a daily basis as you chart your path to a successful future.

Every week, I will supply you with an inspirational or amusing quote and my own musings on that quote. I'd like you to share and discuss with me.

Thanks for joining me and I hope that, together, we can use this next year to change our lives.

jenifer daniels

www.jeniferdaniels.com
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